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Living a Life of Freedom, Not Excuses

Every person on this planet has a dream, a wish, things and situations they strongly desire. But a dream, we believe is just a dream, something out of reach, beyond our grasp. Is it any wonder we don’t have the slightest clue of how, or in fact if, we can bring those dreams, wishes, and desires into our reality?

We all want to have great things however we are not creating the outcome that we want. We complain we don’t have enough money, we don’t have the success we want, the relationship we want, the happiness we want and it is all because we have settled for less in our lives.

Each one of us has it within to do and be the leader and achieve everything we desire. We need to pull that out of ourselves and wake up the person that we were intended to be, that we were meant to be. In order to get what you want you must first know what you want and have the end in view.

For a long time I was stuck in this phase because of the verbal abuse I received as a child. How could I know what I wanted when I was told I would never finish what I started, I would never amount to anything and I would fail at whatever I did. People cannot see the outcome of their dreams because they are stuck in this phase. I had a fear of failure and a fear of success.

I had a mother who told me everyday we couldn’t afford this or that, and how poor we were, but we moved to Hawaii when I was 13. Talk about mixed signals! I got my first job at 14 at a florist because I thought we were so poor and I ended up lying to get the job to help my mother. Come to find out we were wealthy; she hoarded money and spent my college trust fund that was left to me by my grandparents. Talk about a formula for disaster!

I sabotaged myself in every way for success based on my beliefs. I know there are those reading this that do not have my story but you have experienced some situation that has made you feel as though you cannot even dream. Those dreams you have experienced are out of reach and so far fetched, and I am here to tell you they are not. If I can do it, you can do it!

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.” - Stephen Kaggwa

“Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream of things that never were and say why not?” - George Bernard Shaw


When I decided on October 30, 2006 I was done with nursing I was not sure what I was going to do. I knew I was finished. I was over worked, under paid, saw and experienced things in the nursing field that I knew were absolutely wrong. My intension to be a nurse was to help others and make a change in family’s lives, not suck all the money out of families and give pills, surgeries
and procedures they did not need.

I sat there for 2 months until one day I received a call from an old friend. This friend had been in every program on the internet; however, he was the only one I knew that had ever succeeded. Bob had a mindset like nobody I had ever met and the best part is that he believed in me.

Parallel to my nursing I started a marketing company on the internet in 1997. I had gotten ripped off by a company and decided I was going to do it myself. I had a dream, woke up at 3 am, went downstairs and wrote an ad about my company from the point as if it already existed. It was an overnight success and I had more work than I could handle. I advertised for over 200 companies out there including Amway, Life Force, Alpine and Nu Skin just to name a few.

When Bob approached me in October 2006 he told me he was in a new program and how he knew I could “make bank” as he put it. He told me “you are a go-getter,” a leader, and the elite 2%. He saw in me what I did not see in myself. He told me “I know you will succeed.” I had advertised for all these programs but had never been in one. I had seen so many people fail, not because of my marketing but because of their mindset, and their excuses.

Looking back after going to my First Steps to Success with Dani Johnson in Dallas Texas, March 2008, I realized why I attracted people that made excuses and why they failed. I was at that time in my life living a life of Excuses; I attracted people who made excuses.

Although I was successful I still made excuses why I was not going to get into a program. The excuse I would tell people is that “it was a conflict of interest owning a marketing company,” and “I need to focus on my marketing.” To be honest I was scared to death! I was told I would fail at everything in my life, so why try, and why dream?

January 3, 2007 I called Bob and wished him a Happy New Year. The first thing he asked was “What happened to you?”, and I blurted out I was scared. He informs me he made $35,000 between November and December. I didn’t know who I was more mad at, myself or at him! I was so angry I told my excuses to go to you know where!

I got on the internet with this program and did $18,000 my first 21 days, $60,000 my first 45 days and $200,000 my first 8 months. It blew my mind because I decided to start Living as a Leader, a Life of Freedom and not Excuses. Excuses lead to depression, stress and health problems. No wonder I had thyroid problems!

Before starting this venture on the internet, I watched the movie “The Secret” on January 29, 2007; I then wrote my self a check for $100,000 and wrote my intention down on paper. I learned from Dani and others you don’t compromise when you write down your goals. This year my goal is a million and I will do it.

I live a life of urgency everyday and you can too. Remember I am the woman who was verbally abused, was told I could never do anything right and that I would fail at everything I tried. I am the same woman who had $67,000 and my identity stolen from me over night in 2005 and ended up at the State assistance office the next morning. Look at me now. I live a life of freedom, not excuses.


Give yourself permission to DREAM BIG. The biggest reward I have received is not the materialistic things but about whom I have become through pursuing my dreams. The investments I have made in myself; for example: a First Steps Seminar, reading books, listening to CDS over and over, learning how to outsource by hiring people who knew how to do things better than myself. At one point I thought I could do everything and had no trust for someone else to help me.

As I grew on the internet I had to learn how to balance my work and my family life. I am a “Ruby” according to Dani Johnson, so my Time management skills were out the window. It wasn’t until March 2008 that I really learned time management through First Steps to Success.

With my success I have experienced loss and I am sure you have seen that as well. The man who took $67,000 from me over night and stole my identity took my faith, self esteem and trust in man-kind but he did not take my skills. Who I was and what I had learned throughout the years, all the skills I developed- he could not take away and nobody ever can.

Remember you are the author of your own story and your life is a story! You are a LEADER and you might not even know it, because you have not given yourself that permission. You have not stopped living a life of excuses. Write down your own ending
and make it happen! Take Action instead of making excuses. How did I learn a life of urgency? It was not over night and very hard.

I live a life of urgency everyday but there are days I struggle. Nobody ever said it would be easy. Here is a scenario and an exercise you can do. First, if we had no fear of rejection and we knew we would not fail, what would be some of the things we would do?

Take yourself back to age 5, when you had that mindset of a persistent child; when you would ask for anything and do everything without fear of rejection. What Happened? You can change this and lead. Write Down Your Dreams and Goals.

As you reach your Goals cross them off your list as if you were going shopping. Write the sentence “I did it” or “SUCCESS” so that your mind receives the signal. It is a true achievement. Look at your list when you may be feeling down or discouraged because we all get that way sometimes. Be re-inspired by your achievements. I never could see my accomplishments because I never wrote them down. People would rant and rave about what I had done but because of that negative mentality I had, I thought they were no big deal.

When I finally wrote down my accomplishments, I discovered I had accomplished a lot. Two Bachelors Degrees, a Nursing Degree, being an inventor, skydiving 3 times over the North Shore of Oahu, owning a Health Store in Tonga. I traveled all over, buying houses on my own as a single mom being dependent on nobody, doing things people dream of doing. If I never had taken that first step none of these things would have happened.

Once you are clear about what you want, you turn Your Dreams into Goals and Objectives. Turn your dream list into a measurable objective. For instance: I will weigh 120 lbs by July 24, 2008, not I want to lose weight. Saying I want to lose weight is a vague want and is not specific. As Dani says “Nothing can become Dynamic until it becomes Specific.”

You must take each and every part of your vision and turn it into an objective. Make a comprehensive list. Once you have done this, you are ready to go on to the step of turning your dreams into a reality and becoming the Leader you were born to be.

Remember I overcame adversity, labels, and I beat the odds. I stopped making excuses and started living a life of freedom. I became the leader I was meant to be, and you can too! Remember Your Income follows your personal growth. Your personal Growth determines whether or not you work hard. Believe in yourself, write down your dreams and make them a reality.

By Bardi Toto

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